dont know since when..

there's always this stone pressing on my heart.

i hope de next few months to a year will pass quickly. for if i survive, de stone will be gone. then there will be another stone and another stone and another stone but dat's a different issue hahaa

i know that my insistence in doing wad i want, will bring me undesired consequences. to wad extent, i will not know until de day comes.

why cant i just solely conc on my studies and not hafta worry abt every other thing?

i know i'm blessed enough already.

and i know i'm not young anymore.. as much as i want to bear de whole burden.. given de situation now, it's not possible. though if i dont insist on doing it, it definitely would have helped a lot.

it's not dat i'm being stubborn on doing wad i want. it doesnt just concern me only.

sighs. aint i just creating trouble for myself?

sometimes i wish i didnt choose to walk this route. for if i dont and de same thing happen, i'd be prepared. but den again, there's always pros and cons.

hoooooowwwwwwww?

i hopeeee for miraclesss.